Douche on high

Are you driving one of these Douchemobiles around the city; blinding everyone in front of you with your headlights?... You guessed it, might be a douche bag.

How's my hair bro?

If it takes half an hour or 1/2 a jar of pomade to achieve your hairstyle, if every hair on your body, face, and head is waxed into shape... You just might be a douchebag

Dr. Douchebag

Are you a medical "professional" with an aversion to sleeves?... Might be a douchebag

Doggy Bag and Baguette

The height of Douchebaggery: Punctuates every sentence with 'Bra', i.e. "Go with christ Bra!", Arm bracelets, feathers, mullet with bald spot, leather, tons of jewelry and an aversion to sleeves... and then there's the baguette.

Beltway bags

If you've ever lost an election to George W. Bush... might be a douche bag. In fact, if you're a politician in general...

A tribe called Douche

If you have tribal tattoos, but no actual tribal affiliation.... You might be a douche bag.

Cowbag

Where to begin? For starters: If your wallet is tethered to you by a chain... You might be a douche bag.