Friday, July 31, 2009

Douche on high

Are you driving one of these Douchemobiles around the city; blinding everyone in front of you with your headlights?... You guessed it, might be a douche bag.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

How's my hair bro?

If it takes half an hour or 1/2 a jar of pomade to achieve your hairstyle, if every hair on your body, face, and head is waxed into shape... You just might be a douchebag

Dr. Douchebag

Are you a medical "professional" with an aversion to sleeves?... Might be a douchebag

Doggy Bag and Baguette

The height of Douchebaggery: Punctuates every sentence with 'Bra', i.e. "Go with christ Bra!", Arm bracelets, feathers, mullet with bald spot, leather, tons of jewelry and an aversion to sleeves... and then there's the baguette.

Beltway bags

If you've ever lost an election to George W. Bush... might be a douche bag. In fact, if you're a politician in general...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A tribe called Douche

If you have tribal tattoos, but no actual tribal affiliation.... You might be a douche bag.


Where to begin? For starters: If your wallet is tethered to you by a chain... You might be a douche bag.

No shame..

If you can see your nipples through your shirt... You probably are a Douche bag

DB in Chief

If you've ever started a war on false pretenses...

Barf Bag

Are you proud of the fact that you habitually drink until you puke?... You might be a douche bag.


Do you enjoy the fit of a "wifebeater"? Maybe accented with a nice sliver chain? Maybe tucked into jeans with a braided belt?... You just might be a douche bag.


If you live off of your girlfriends income... You might be a douche bag.


If you drive a Hummer (especially with flames or a lift kit, as if its not obnoxious enough already)... You might be a douche bag.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Defined as:

The uniform.

If you own a single article of Ed Hardy or Affliction clothing... You might be a douche bag.


If you wear "guyliner"... You might be a douche bag.

Keep truckin....

If you wear a trucker cap... You might be a douche bag. Eyeshadow: Extra douche points.

Sunglasses @ night

If you wear sunglasses indoors (anywhere on your head)... You might be a douche bag.

Got brand?

If you have a "Got Sand?", "No Fear", "Metal Mulisha" ect. sticker on your pickup truck... You might be a douchebag.


If you wear a bandanna in your back pocket... You might be a douche bag.

Love, VH1 style

If you've ever tried to find "love" on a VH1 reality show.... You might be douche bag